Because it beats studying (100 Questions)

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
The scar on my face - the one most people ask about. I was about 9 months old, and I pulled myself up on the fireplace handle and started chewing on it. Slipped, and the handle went through my cheek. I missed major nerve damage by 1/4 of an inch, but as it is, I can't do the Elvis lip-curl on that side, probably because of it.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Star Wars shit. Yep, that's the room that Matt's allowed to have all his RPG shit out in.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Pretty sure no...

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
I love 90s music. Rap can suck a nut.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
11:10pm

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
I'm pretty content right now, but I'd settle for having my degree so I can get a fucking job already.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Having an ass that doesn't look like a table.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
My rugrats, but I don't really "possess" them. They are, however, possessed.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5'7, 5'8, depending on which convenience store I'm leaving.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Nope. I love confining spaces - just give me enough room to draw air in my lungs, and I'm good.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Hell no.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Myself because I'm a big baby.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Bugs. And losing my family. But bugs happen much more often.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I'm a sucker for red hair. Must be my inner ginger trying to keep the breed alive.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
Um, I'm already married.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Reeeed Buuuuuull

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Pepperoni; or almonds, pineapple, ham, and cinnamon. Don't look at me in that tone of voice, it's fucking awesome.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Your mom.

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Purple

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
What the balls.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
Life, actually. That was pretty sweet of my mom to not abort me.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Duh. Who doesn't?

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
I can pop my pinky.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Er..nothing specific.

25. Who is your favorite male/female celebrity
Sean Connery and Brad Pitt in Fight Club.

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yeppers

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Cocker Spaniel named Obi Wan, the cutest fucking gray longhaired cat you'll ever see called Logan, and a beta fish named Justin.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Yeah, that happened.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED?
"A number from one to a hundred."

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Redheads, not warheads.

32. FAVORITE QUOTE:
What the everloving fuck?

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
Under the covers or on a beach.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
I went to Canadia once.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Oh, the list.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
I got Anthony Munoz's autograph once - I called him the "Furniture Fair Guy," and he looked perfectly miserable.

37. FIRST JOB?
Droppin' fries at McDs.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Of course.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
Some people have more than one. That's what I like to call the jackpot.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
You don't wanna know.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Let's see. I've had my face stitched back together, I've almost cut a toe off, I've been stabbed in the leg by my bike (there's a good story), had my cooter cut on, and had my wisdom teeth taken out.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My smile and my crazy-ass hair.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Nope.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
A floor loom.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?
I've already got two, what more do you want from me?

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Poor hygiene.

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKE(D) ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
I could take a stupid class and fail it, and it didn't cost any money.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Whatever's on sale

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Sometimes

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
BACON.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Biting my nails

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Nope

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Maybe

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
Sure, why not?

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Personal preference matters.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Smoke and scream

58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOOSE 58 POUNDS?
Lose, obviously.

59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
Be a grown up when I'm 90.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Toys?

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Who the hell would just randomly know this?

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
Fuuuuck no.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No, not at all.
/sarcasm

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Mac and cheese

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
Fun

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Roach, Torch, Ginger, Big Red

67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
The dude from Heroes who sucks up everyone else's power - but not Syler, because he lobs heads off to get the power.

68. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOWS?
TV?

69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
I don't have enemies. I've got people who have their head up their ass.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
NOM NOM NOM

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Yeppers

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
I can bring the laptop in

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
SCHOOOOL.

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
So many different places, it ain't even funny

75. DO YOU WANT ANYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Sure.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Sister Hazel. Seriously, you know me, right?

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Mint hot chocolate

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Probably the mister

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
What's that?

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
UV rays, Twilight, haters

82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
All but winter. And I'd like winter more if people in Ohio knew how the fuck to drive.

83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
Payday bars

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Yes.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Right now, it's red with bleached out streaks that used to be purple. Sometime this weekend, it'll probably be brown with red streaks

86. EYE COLOR?
Shit brown

87. SHOE SIZE?
10 or 11.

88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Skyline Chili

89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Skyline, fool.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Ew, no

91. WATCH TV TODAY?
Nope. Probably won't.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Halloween

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
Slide whistle

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
I'm not a Republican. Let's leave it at that.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Huggles

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
A blueberry muffin and the infamous mint hot chocolate

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
I was once, I'd do it again.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
None, actually. For shame.

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE?
Like everyone elses - has it's ups and downs, but overall it's pretty good. We haven't killed each other yet, at least, and that's a plus, right?

And these little bitches cried "wahh wahh wahhh" all the way to the feminist rally

So apparently, I'm an awful woman for saying that Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse. I'm the disgrace of feminists everywhere, and I ought to be ashamed because it's not like she had a choice in how she looks, and she's a role-model for "unconventional beauties" everywhere, and it's sad that she's getting insulted and she can't even defend herself, and it's just not fair (sob and flounce).

Well, fuck that. The woman looks like a goddamn pony. Maybe if she'd gain 20 pounds and stopped doing so many hair dye and makeup commercials (which I think is why she looks kinda leathery...), she'd look loads better. And yes, I know, I'm no Hollywood designer or agent or anything, so no one is remotely required to listen to anything I say on the subject of how to make someone look "beautiful." So fucking what? I'm tired of being PC. SJP looks like a horse. Whoop-dee-do. If she were some random bitch on peopleofwalmart.com, it'd be funny as hell (actually, it *is* funny as hell). How is this different?

On the flip-side, does it even matter that I said it? As someone said, she's not here to defend herself, although I can totally see her flying back to Cincinnati and driving almost an hour to Batavia, and knocking down my door to tell me I'm a big fat meanie pants for saying it about her. Yeah. And I'm Tiger Woods *n*th secret lover (although he's fucked so many women recently, I very well could be). /sarcasm.

So if that makes me a big fat meanie pants, then so be it. At least this big fat meanie pants kept her big fat meanie panties unwadded. I believe I've already established the fact that I'm loud, opinionated, and I don't apologize for what I say. That makes me a bitch. And once again, I ask of you: So fucking what?

Just another day in "Paradise"...

OK, life. That's enough shit for now, kthxbai.
Today:
1) Lost checkbook. Had to borrow $25 for copay from my MIL, meaning that I actually had to *see* my MIL.
2) Key broke off in lock, and I didn't have a key for my back door. So I locked everyone out. I also realized I need to make more friends - I don't know a single lock-picker within 30 miles.
3) Had to leave class early to take Thing 2 to the behavior specialist.
4) Behavior specialist looked about ready to cry by the end of the appointment. Welcome to my life EVERYDAY, lady. But add an autistic kid in, too.
5) Start on new meds for Thing 2. Evaluation for occupational therapy - sensory issues. Great - like another one of my kids needs to have sensory issues. Also anxiety concerns. Fuck, she's 4, for Chrissake.
6) Almost ran out of gas. Thanks for the gas money, Mom. I owe you about 2305893 now, right?
7) Mr. had to break the back window to get in. Turns out it's a solid sheet instead of the 9 individual panes, so now we have to replace the whole.fucking.window.
8) Didn't get home till almost 9, and I have German homework, a FAS paper to rewrite, and 15 more pictures to find for Drawing.

Tomorrow has GOT to be better, right? RIGHT? Swear to God on Thursday (first day of fall break), I'm sitting in my jammies, drinking tea, knitting, and watching Gone With The Wind. Or I'll sleep.

Fucking around on Omegle...again.

This is ALWAYS good for a laugh.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: Hello
Stranger: hola
Stranger: who r u
You: How's it going?
Stranger: lif stinks. u
You: I'm a random stranger you just met on the internet.
Stranger: true....
Stranger: and im not aloud to talk to stranger!!!! ahhh ur cary
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


(This next one is a two-part convo)
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: Hello!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: from?
You: USA. You?
Stranger: turkey
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(Part 2)
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: Hello!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: from?
You: You're from Turkey, aren't you? You just disconnected me.
Stranger: :D
You: *FAIL*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


People are actually pretty boring tonight. :(

Oooooooooooooomegle!

So I found this website called www.omegle.com. You can chat with random people all around the world. Most people would think this is cool, and I do. But there are many random, messed up people on there, too. I don't let them bother me. Allow me to share some snippets of some of my best conversations:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: How's it going?
Stranger: shitty my cat died
You: :( I'm sorry to hear that. Was it old?
Stranger: i fucked it to death
You: You really shouldn't fuck the wrong pussy.
Stranger: honest mistake
You: Was it close by? Like laying on your girl's stomach or something?
You: **slowly backs away and hides kittens**
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: Please don’t be lame.
Stranger: I’m only as lame as your mom in the sack
You: Sweet.
You: I like you already.
You: I LOVE your mama jokes.
Stranger: ..is your mom lame in the sack?
You: From what I hear.
Stranger: Orly?
You: Bet you didn’t count on that when you opened this conversation, did you?
Stranger: Yo momma so fat, ALL of her relationships are long distance
You: Your mama’s so ugly, even a dementor wouldn’t kiss her.
Stranger: Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
You: Your mama’s so fat, Ben Kenobi said “That’s no moon…that’s YOUR MAMA!”
Stranger: Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, “DING!”
You: Your mama’s so dirty, she has to sneak up on the bathtub.
Stranger: Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, “O.K.”
You: Your mama’s so fat that when she went to the beach, Spain came up and claimed her for the New World.
Stranger: Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
You: Your mama’s so fat, her tramp stamp says “WIDE LOAD.”
Stranger: Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
You: The reason God needed the 7th day off was because He wore himself out making your fat-ass mama.
Stranger: That one was cold
Stranger: I’M TELLING MY MAMA
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: hey
You: Hello. How's it going?
Stranger: good r u gay
You: As in...happy? LOL
Stranger: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: LOL
You: Not that it matters, but no.
You: What an odd way to start a conversation.
Stranger: why im gay
You: Are you a guy or girl?
Stranger: gay
You: I think you're misunderstanding the question.
Stranger: i think ur gay too
Stranger: knock knock
You: Yes. I'm very gay. I'm the gayest person ever! This has been such a good day, I'm so excited!
You: I've had such a gay day!
You: Who's there?
Stranger: disco
You: Disco who?
Stranger: DISCONECTED
You: LOL
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello. How's it going?
Stranger: its going well
Stranger: how about you
You: Found out my dog is having seizures. Ick.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: hold on i heard a noise.
You: Um, OK...
You: *listens intently*
Stranger: wtf
Stranger: aclalthecpops
Stranger: callthecaps
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


I will routinely be updating this. It's just too good to pass up.

Kids nowadays

Those little fuckers can think outside the box. Fast. Check out www.mylifeisaverage.com (MLIA)if you don't believe me. Some examples:

* Today, My chemistry teacher asked our class if anything occurs when you mix an alcohol with a salt. I said a margarita. He gave me a bonus point. MLIA

* Today, I took a test in science class. One of the questions was "What is arguably the most dangerous element?" I said the element of surprise. I got extra credit. MLIA.

* Today I joined the computer club at school. All new members had to take a computer knowledge test to determine if they could stay in the club. One question was "Johnny's computer has a pentium 4 processor, advanced graphic cards and 50 GB of storage. What does Johnny need to improve?" My answer was "his social life". Not only did I get into the club, they offered me the role of vice president. MLIA

* Today, I was at a four way stop sign and another car got there at the same time as me. I waved for him to go, then he waved for me to go. We both sat there for a few seconds and then put our hands out the window to rock-paper-scissors for it. I won. MLIA

So it is now my mission to do great things like this EVERY DAY. I want to live my life as if I post post multiple entries on MLIA every day. Too bad that the "A" doesn't stand for "AWESOME." I'll try to blog this every day, but I make no guarantees that I can take a break from great things to blog.

Great Thing #1. I just spelled "guarantee" correctly, with no stumbling on the keys, and no spell check. I already feel full of fucking WIN.

Because I haven't blogged in a long-ass time...again...

Found this on one of my old MySpace blogs and thought it could be pretty funny...so come with me while we (re)discover...(bum bum bum) "THE SOUNDTRACK TO ERIN'S LIFE!"

Opening Credits: Who Needs Shelter? - Jason Mraz

Waking Up: Never Alone - Dropkick Murphys

First Day At School: Wonderboy - Tenacious D

Falling In Love: What Did You Say? - The Pipettes

Fight Song: Rawkfist - Thousand Foot Krutch

Breaking Up: Bang Bang - Dispatch

Prom: Numbered Days - Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Life: In Between - Linkin Park

Mental Breakdown: The Doodlebop Pledge - The Doodlebops (yes. It is, in fact, a children's song.)

Driving: For Me - Grammatrain

Flashback: Underage Bichon - Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Getting Back Together: History - Tenacious D

Wedding: Hey Now - Toby Mac

Birth of Child: Your Illusion - Hanson

Final Battle: Loser - Beck (aw, dammit.)

Death Scene: One Last Run - Nickelback

Funeral Song: I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues - Elton John

End Credits: 21st Century Cure - Repo! The Genetic Opera Soundtrack