I know why the weekend SUCKED.

It's because yesterday was 3/3/09, AKA "Square Root Day." They say that bad things come in threes, but around Square Root Day, they must come in nines, I guess. Fuck me sideways when it gets to be 7/7/2049. Actually, that'll be Thing 2's 44th birthday, so that won't be so bad, I guess.

To add onto the drama of this past weekend, I just had to fork out $65 for the new tire, and Monday, in anticipation of Square Root Day, I had to pay Roto-Rooter $125 to come out and snake my toilet, as one of the Things flushed a huge glob of TP down. Sadly, Roto-Rooter came out after I spent 1/2 an hour bailing out my toilet bowl with a metal bowl and two beach buckets because the tank wouldn't stop running. Before you ask why I didn't turn the water to the tank off, let me say that I did, and the fucker didn't work for me. I must have twisted the valve halfway to Mongolia, and the water kept on coming like a flood. Eventually, I bailed out enough to run to the laundry room and turn off the main water valve to the house, which stopped the flood, thankfully. I estimate my losses on Monday to be:
20-30 gallons of water
1/2 an hour of my time spent actually bailing out the toilet bowl
2 Get Fuzzy comic books
3 rolls of toilet paper
1/2 a box of kitty litter
2 towels that were so soaked with kitty litter and cat poop from the clean up that I just threw them out
The rug we keep in front of the shower to keep us from slipping
And of course, the $125 for Roto-Rooter to come out and snake my toilet for 5 minutes and then stand around talking to me for 1/2 an hour

Let's not forget also: my dignity from cleaning up the water that had overflowed during the initial clogging/flooding, plus the time spent bailing and cleaning up afterward, and then the knowledge that while I was talking to the Roto-Rooter guys, I was wearing Mr. BigRed's jammies. You know - the kind with the button fly? We'll just say that I had a wardrobe malfunction and wasn't wearing any panties.

But today's BOUND to be better. Know why? Because mother fucking Square Root Day ain't coming again until 2016.

1 comments:

Riohnna said...

LOLOLOLOLOL!! Love the jammie part! I never heard of square root day.

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