I know why the weekend SUCKED.

It's because yesterday was 3/3/09, AKA "Square Root Day." They say that bad things come in threes, but around Square Root Day, they must come in nines, I guess. Fuck me sideways when it gets to be 7/7/2049. Actually, that'll be Thing 2's 44th birthday, so that won't be so bad, I guess.

To add onto the drama of this past weekend, I just had to fork out $65 for the new tire, and Monday, in anticipation of Square Root Day, I had to pay Roto-Rooter $125 to come out and snake my toilet, as one of the Things flushed a huge glob of TP down. Sadly, Roto-Rooter came out after I spent 1/2 an hour bailing out my toilet bowl with a metal bowl and two beach buckets because the tank wouldn't stop running. Before you ask why I didn't turn the water to the tank off, let me say that I did, and the fucker didn't work for me. I must have twisted the valve halfway to Mongolia, and the water kept on coming like a flood. Eventually, I bailed out enough to run to the laundry room and turn off the main water valve to the house, which stopped the flood, thankfully. I estimate my losses on Monday to be:
20-30 gallons of water
1/2 an hour of my time spent actually bailing out the toilet bowl
2 Get Fuzzy comic books
3 rolls of toilet paper
1/2 a box of kitty litter
2 towels that were so soaked with kitty litter and cat poop from the clean up that I just threw them out
The rug we keep in front of the shower to keep us from slipping
And of course, the $125 for Roto-Rooter to come out and snake my toilet for 5 minutes and then stand around talking to me for 1/2 an hour

Let's not forget also: my dignity from cleaning up the water that had overflowed during the initial clogging/flooding, plus the time spent bailing and cleaning up afterward, and then the knowledge that while I was talking to the Roto-Rooter guys, I was wearing Mr. BigRed's jammies. You know - the kind with the button fly? We'll just say that I had a wardrobe malfunction and wasn't wearing any panties.

But today's BOUND to be better. Know why? Because mother fucking Square Root Day ain't coming again until 2016.


Riohnna said...

LOLOLOLOLOL!! Love the jammie part! I never heard of square root day.

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