Instead of washing the dogs...

That's right, hoars. I made MOTHER FUCKING ICE CREAM! In a BAG!

Check it:

Recipe for R-Rated Bagged Ice Cream

2 cups milk
3-4 tablespoons of sugar (depends on how sweet you like it)
2 tablespoons cocoa power
a splash of vanilla (if you're like me, a splash=2 TB)

You could probably add other shit, like nuts or marshmallows or whatnot.

Dump that shit in a bag, seal it tight like your asshole and shake it a bit to mix it. Then put about 2-3 cups of ice and a shitton of salt inside a bigger sealable bag (your ass is probably not a good idea, as this will get very very cold), put your ice cream fixin's in the salty ice bag, and shake that shit for a good 20 minutes.
Methods to Shake It:
* Listen to Hey Ya! by OutKast and shake it like a muthafuckin Polaroid picture.
* Get your crotchfruit to shake it for you when your hands get cold (like I did)
* Tie it to your dog and then take him outside and play fetch.

When it's all solid, take it out and be sure not to get any of the salt water anywhere near anything that's gonna go into your mouth, and then dump the ice cream in a bowl and NOM IT. Nom its fucking socks off. Sharing with your kids is optional, but does feel nice.


Ann of Green Cables said...

I don't have a dog, could I tie it to myself and run nekkid around the house? I'd go outside, but I would scare the neighbourhood kiddos!

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